| Im allergic to bugs :( |
[Sep. 9th, 2005|11:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | click clickity clicker-roo | ] |
There are more than 6,446,131,400 people living on the Earth. North America alone makes up 25 percent of the population. about 130 million people live in california, and a great part of that live in orange county. I think about 3000 kids go to marina high school. I know there are 61 people in my phone book on my cell phone(one of which i would love to call right now but CANT!:(, and about 20 people on my buddy list. Mom, Dad, Arnie make three and Me makes four living in my house. How is it possible to feel alone then?
I feel like i have to reach up to touch rock bottom in this situation. I think its funny how i chose to vent here, but i guess whatever works right? What i realllly cant get off my mind is: 1: "i dont know" 2: "what do you mean you dont know" 1: "a part of me wants to becuase i still love ----, but the otehr part..." 2: "other part what?" 1:"i dont know". fuck, its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all right? speak for yourself ajshkfjh you know what? woulda, coulda, shoulda I cant chnage the past and will never be able to see a day ahead of me, so im going to give it a rest.
I GOT A JOB TODAY! im going to make flower arrangements and pretty bouquets for everyone!! I also played tennis with jill she was anna and i was maria, of course ;).
goodnight everyone. sweet dreams, and wake up tomorrow with giant smiles on your faces! i will check to see, so have one on.
and you...yes you... :( - :) - ;) - :P - :s ill talk to you later. |
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| poothy boy |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|08:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | yesterday | ] |
so theres this girl who i dont like at all and i dont even know her and the reason i dont like her is because in jealous of her and when i get a job at amy's flowrr shop im going to have to look at her stupid truck when i go outside becuase she works next to the flower shop and we both are going to work (if i get the job) next to this boys house who i could almost swear has a crush on hima nd he will probably end up having a crush on her too and its going to make me feel very sad but maybe i wont even get the job there and i dont even know her soo i shouldnt even think about her becuase thats kind of insane and hes probably thinking im some crazy weirdo girl but im not i just think about this stuff way to much until my stomach hurts i guess you could say im obsessed but im not.. becuase who cares.. i guess... i mean.. you know? i think only jill and carolyn are going to understand my this.
ON A BRIGHTER NOTE....
today i went on a picnic with bryanna, heather, carolyn, janna, janna's boyfriend, and a dutch boy. Then bryanna, heather, carolyn and i went to watch a girl names lauren pole vault and at night time we are going to watch scary movies unless i go to church which i probably will end up doing anyways.
OK forget the ginormous sentence i wrote i was just being a cry baby. russian women arn't cry babys!!! :) |
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| i need to get out of my house. |
[Aug. 27th, 2005|01:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ryan Adams- Life is Beautiful | ] |
next time i see you im going to kiss you one thousand times even if you dont kiss me back :( 13 more days until school and i need to find something to do so i dont go crazy. I guess im going to have to look for a job, if you have any ideas..? i love going to the pool with brandy and play the sing under the water game. i spend too much time on the computer now. i really really miss john. I need a haircut, and i want to get blonde hair. Im going to a lingerie party tonight. Im going to go swim becuase its realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly hot inside my house.
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( / :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) |
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| Give me a HAPPY face! |
[Aug. 26th, 2005|11:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Beulah -You're only a King Once | ] |
I swear this whole getting over stuff is a lot harder then i ever thought it would be, probably because i dont want to get over anything just yet. I still have that little thing called hope, But whyyy does it have to be soo hard? Its like, you wish everything could be this easy fairytale where you would hear a knock on your door and you would get flowers and kisses and they would tell you that they need you, but reality is brutal nothing is every that easy. To be honest i am a girl who believes in that fairytale crap i wish everything could be problem free and happy all the time, that probably led to some downfall iam sure. the point is its really hard to be just friends when you really believed everything that would said before and to think that maybe it was just a lie? If friendship is the best youre going to get, then take it. Im telling you im going to be mean and im going to make you angry but if you want to be my friend then suck it up. Im going to distance myself becuase it makes me feel better. I hope you find someone that will make you happy and let you do whatever the fuck you want to do becuase that one thing i asked was the world to you and obviously it wasnt meant to be and it doesnt matter.
actually its a lie i do care and it does matter and im going to care becuase i still love you and im pathetic. |
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| only love can break your heart- thanks a lot neil |
[Aug. 25th, 2005|08:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | neil young | ] |
Ok so im not really important to you. Well, i've packed you all up into a tiny box and cloed the lid, placed it carefully in the back of the closet, locked the door, and threw away the key.
its weird how time goes by soooo slowly and everyone seems to be busy at the same time when youre feeling sad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2005|10:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | weezer-Butterfly (waiting for the phone to ring) | ] |
i just found my old livejournal!! im really reallllly sad, im a sad girl. console me! |
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| here we are now, entertain us |
[Apr. 12th, 2004|12:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
happy Easter!
actually the end of easter was 12 minutes ago. ugh
hiihihihihihihihihi
Today:
normal person: "today im going to church"
("coooooooool church for hour.")
russian baptist: "today IS church"
("coooooooool church for the ENTIRE DAY. ")
* sunset at Laguna Top
* 11 oclock pazookie
tomorrow is my first behind the wheel! i got my permit on monday. yay!
lunch. movies. walk. hold hands.<33333333 im a creep.
MaibeNextTime: i didnt know this was going to become more than a stalker obsession
miss sonya zee: YOU THOUGHT I HAD NO HOPE
haha i love brandy for that because, its true. |
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| <3 |
[Mar. 31st, 2004|05:20 pm] |
I woke up this morning knowing something terrible was going to happen...(im not a whiner but im going to make an exception for this).
BAD NEWS
i almost got ran over by georges golf cart.
AND********I CANT GO TO SADIE HAWKINS!(2-20-04 i was absent and i turned my note in a day late!)dskhdjkahd.I tried to give the lady attitude, but it sadly didnt work and i still cant go.
GOOD NEWS
im still going to hang out with him on friday. swoon <3.
blahhhhhhhblahhblah. good day. bye. |
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| im brave |
[Mar. 26th, 2004|11:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the Pixies- where is my mind | ] |
yay sadie hawkins! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2004|05:24 pm] |
today in hallmark i farted. |
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| lala la |
[Mar. 17th, 2004|05:45 pm] |
I really dont except anyone to understand this But,
ilove:
eating posicles
feeding the birds
and swinging on swings
......hm what a good day
ps. jill perkins tells good stories<3
and..even though i feel like a huge dork, its okay.<3333333 |
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| hey kids. |
[Mar. 5th, 2004|10:19 pm] |
today was so awesome! for the record...brandy is a geek<3
I have to get used to this updating thing
i played go fish <3. i really need to get rid of this feeling, its kind of hopeless... after track brandy and i went on a date to eat, and then some shopping. we almost ruined 2000 dollars worth of pants. haha it way funny though.
TOMORROW!
veggie tales marathon-
Jonah and the whale/silly songs with Larry/mac cheese/Pazookies
ps. some people just don't understand veggie tales logic.
invitation only |
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| oh they all fall like a million raindrops |
[Feb. 24th, 2004|08:35 pm] |
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnew live journal yay!
hello my name is Sophia sonya Zinovyev.
So this week has been super great.
youth retreat- it snowed!
friends stick together- i love you. always have. always will.
<3- i like you alot.
out with the old in with the new!
from here on out I'm throwing away all the bad things that let me down. every word, thought, memory, and frown. iv realized that there are things you just cant hide from or it starts to control you, but it you stand it out your reward will be greater then you ever thought.
And even though i don't know how long i can last i know I'm never alone.
tomorrow night im going on a date with bryanna, we are back in the game <3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2004|08:10 pm] |
this is bryanna. sonya told me to update for her. THE FIRST UPDATE. THE FIRST DAY WE ARE REJOINED. on wednesday we are having our first date. and our first yoga sesh. togetherrrr<3
me and you and you and meeee, no matter how you toss the dice it's meant to be. the only one for you is me and me for you, so happy togetherrrrrr. |
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